A muffled scream

What is there to love,
In me or anyone else
I grudge you not your indifference
I’d just rather you hate me instead


I’ve been lower before and I’m still here
This life wouldn’t give up, there’s nothing left to kill
It’s not because I think I’ll win, I don't give a damn
It’s just that giving up is harder still


What is there to love,
In you or anyone else
I hate not your scars
I’d rather love you instead


You like to laugh,
I don’t mind your jeers
But don’t cry for me,
I can’t ignore your tears


To you who still loves me
I’ll keep giving you reasons to not
You deserve a better prize at the end
But I’m afraid, I’m all I’ve got


To the rest, the doors have closed
There's nothing in my sould I want you to see
I'll hate you forever and walk into the dark
Would still be nice if you'd walk with me

Lost

I shivered, did I not
As the first drop fell
As the trees grew louder
And the earth grew a smell
As lightning burst overhead
I shivered, did I not
As I saw the place of horrors
Where I knew my body would rot

The tallest trees, with vengence full
The longest snakes, as black as lies
The cold night and the wet grass
My last resort, to close my eyes






I smiled did I not
As I saw her face
Remembered the girl I loved
Remembered better, lighter days
And in my mind the sun grew tall
And birds chirped on those magic trees
A river called out from far away
Like music through the golden breeze

I opened my eyes, it was still night
I spread my arms and looked up at the rain
I shivered and smiled and hugged the cold
I closed my eyes so she could find me again