Saturday, July 5, 2008

A hug for a friend


Just when the perfect melody was about to come, the string broke. It stayed in my heart and I can hear it, . . . . almost. I put the guitar away and I looked up to the thousand stars and the two moons, to the little shape that didn't make sense and thought of life, that didn't make sense either. The tears came. . . . almost, they stayed right at the edge telling me, they were there if I needed them. But I didn't, I was me, I was strong. Visions of you on a motorcycle driveby and through the broken wave the voices say it will be allright. The voices care and that helps . . . .

Days have gone by. That perfect song is back, notes put together in a way that is so mine it almost spells my name. I look at the guitar in the corner and I realize maybe I don't even need it anymore. Can I sing, do I dare? My throat has been hurt before in its attempts to sing the songs that it thought it was meant to sing. I try. The voices around me whisper harmonies of encouragement and when I finally let go of my voice the song sounds like I always knew it was meant to. I sit down and the voices sit behind me facing away but looking at me through the mirrors of their wishes. I look up, all the little shapes make sense now. I cry, I don't need the tear either.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Maths and other issues


Times change
Here I am, I’ve forsaken my friend the pen for these twenty six letters in this weird arrangement
Qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm
Ok, that was fun but I miss the pen, the paper, the possibilities. Pretty much same deal happening here but ..... you know. And now this mechanical electronic thing has becomea habit, and habits, as every blood coughing smoke exhaling chappy will tell you, are hard to break.
There’s another habit I have........ cribbing.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m an optimist, I’m so much of an optimist that I want life to be perfect, I don’t see why it cant and so I carefully ponder the few twelve million or so things that stand between me and the perfect life.
Ah, issues.
I remember early issues, homework, balls getting lost, getting into above eighteen films, making the next level in contra, getting the one wheelie bicycle jump going (for the record, ouch, ouch, ouch and then…… whatever, I’m sure it looks cooler then it feels), making sure no one saw me as I air guitared away to swamp thing with my bat, making the school cricket team, making sure the school team was well hydrated as the water boy, wanting to make a huge score in the first match I got to play, wanting to learn black magic to get that pompous dancing twit who skittled our team for nine runs, I mean, what kind of name is sreeshant anyway. Then there was maths and I’m going to stop there because no issue tops that.
Ooh wait, girls.
Anyway, I remember as a kid I used to hate grown ups saying, “enjoy this time kiddo, these are the best days of your life” and I used to think “just wait you cheek pulling, cheap birthday gift giving fatties. When I grow up I’m going to know what a cool allowed to drive-can stay out all night-no homework phase of life it is."
Well, that’s partially true, guess am not really grown up but I dig this extended adolescence. Maths is still a big issue and I still don’t understand how I can work it out. The I-pod touch costs 17000, the mac air is 92000, the cool shoes are 5400, other stuff totals 94000 and I have 72 rupees left over after budgeting the ladakh trip..…….Never could figure out how to work those numbers.
Good news, the pimples are gone, dimples still didn’t come. Stopped worrying about the growing hair, now worrying about the falling hair. Stopped worrying about the height, now worrying about the slouch. The cracking voice grew sexy enough but it cant do sweet chaiaiai…aiaiaiai…ld of mine. . . . . ah well.
Hopefully, a few years down the line, with a cool job playing singing or writing or giving water to a cricket team, with good friends (ah God bless good friends), and with contra finally conquered I might just be able to fulfill the promise to self and proclaim that being grown up is the coolest phase of your life.
Now if only I could figure that sum out.
72 rupees log 22 = Packet of ultramilds + 8
Now maybe if we apply pthagorous and the integrate and then use a variable constant...........

………. Ah well, at least I got the number of letters right.
.........Please tell me I at least got the number of friggin letters right
.......... Ok I counted, I did, ha ha