Cannonball

"there’s still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
there’s still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
it’s still a little hard to say what's going on

there’s still a little bit of your ghost your witness
there’s still a little bit of your face i haven't kissed
you step a little closer each daythat I can´t say what´s going on"


I think it's time there was an answer. Do I owe you one, should I? Is it not my heart to break, my soul to lose, my eyes to dream and to cry with. My ghost to ignore. My mind to not be able to take off you.
I knew that before you did.


"stones taught me to fly
love, it taught me to lie
life, it taught me to die
so it's not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball"


For how many years now have we played this game. How many times have you hidden while I stayed with my face to the wall, counting, not being able to stop and turn around for fear of seeing that you are no longer there.
The numbers never end.


"there’s still a little bit of your song in my ear
there’s still a little bit of your words i long to hear
you step a little closer to me
so close that I can´t see what´s going on"


How many times have I crossed your house, your pillar of stone to protect you from your dragons, to hear you singing from above, hidden by clouds you had made. How many times have I wished that the words of your song were for me. How many times have I gathered the courage to come up and ask only to realize that there were no stairs.
Come away with me, I whisper, but you keep singing, safe from your dragons.



"stones taught me to fly
love taught me to lie
life taught me to die
'cos its not hard to fall,and I don't want to scare her
its not hard to falland i don't want to lose
its not hard to growwhen you know that you just don't know"


I could stay awake all night, just to sing his songs to you, to hope that he would let you forget that I can't really sing. I would pray that you would drift away, so I could get close to you without you moving away, so I could hold you, without demons, and know. That this is it, this is the love I can never have, that this is the love I must search for in vain all my life. Know that this is the moment I must fail to recreate my entire life. To know that this moment, is all I shall have to show for in my life and to know that it will still be a life well lived.


"stones taught me to fly
love taught me to lie
life taught me to die
so its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannon.

stones taught me to fly
love taught me to cry
so come on courage, teach me to be shy
'cos its not hard to fall,
when you float like a cannon"


When I wake up from the dream I shall tell the still waters not to fear. I'm no cannonball. Love has taught me to lie and I can float for as long as I need to. Let not your heart fool you, you are free. You always were.



*** The "...." are the lyrics of cannonball by Damien Rice